Listening

           Yesterday, after walking out of a class I nearly knocked out in, I ran into a friend who looked about 2 seconds from jumping off a bridge. I sat down with him and asked if he was okay and ended up talking to him for a while just about the difficulties of being a dancer. His issues were more specific, but as a friend, it's not my place to disclose them all over the internet. The point is, being a dancer is a lot harder than most people think. Yes, you love what you do, and it's less like a job and more like fun. But in the end, you face constant rejection, never-ending self efficacy, and next to no social life outside of your passion. You lose a hell of a lot of friends because of your inability to participate in the real world, and keeping up a relationship is some kind of miracle. So is it worth it? For me, yes. If I couldn't dance every day, I'd probably be the one sitting on the bench looking like I was going to hang myself.

               The hardest part is when you hit a slump. You feel like you're never getting better, and everyone around you is racing to their dreams, and here you are, unable to even get to step 2, let alone pursue any long term goals. For choreo dancers, I think it's even rougher. If you don't make the team you want to be on, you're temporarily family-less. Your team or company is like a huge group of brothers and sisters who understand you better than anyone, forgive the faults you share, and push you to become better. Without that, it feels like an endless monotony of classes that don't have any discernible purpose. This is one of many reasons I'm thankful to be a freestyler too.

                 When I hit a slump, my solution is to try working on things unrelated to what is currently frustrating me. If I hit a slump in Bgirling, I may focus on my Waacking for a while. If I hit a slump in choreography, I might push myself to do a style I'm not as comfortable in. I'm fortunate enough to have the ability to work through the challenges by doing other styles. I say fortunate, but really, I worked hard for that ability. I see the value in versatility, and yes...I may not get as good at any one thing as someone who focuses soley on one style, but I also never feel completely backed into a corner. The best advice anyone ever gave me is to "just listen to the music." The music tells you what it wants you to do and your body just interprets it. You can't dance for the people around you, or to prove something, or to win. If you just listen to the music, and dance for yourself, you will naturally achieve all those other goals. I hope I can keep learning to listen. I hope he can too.

~Keiko