So...I haven't talked to my dad in about a year now. He called me up about a year ago and basically accused me of being a horrible daughter. Nevermind that he hasn't been present for the majority of my life. It's taken me a year to even be ready to contact him. Essentially, I'm not going to excuse his bad behavior anymore. If he wants a relationship with me, he needs to work at it too. I honestly feel like he's a stranger, and his actions have just told me that he cares about me in his own way, but he doesn't want the responsibility of being a parent. I want to have a copy of the letter I'm sending him, so I'm putting it here.
"Dear Dad,
So, it's been about a year since the last time we talked. I don't know about you, but what I find to be the saddest about that is that it hasn't been that diferent from how it has always been.
The last time we talked did not turn out well for either of us. You were right about a few things. We don't have much of a relationship and honestly, we never have. We don't talk on the phone. And when I come up, I don't always get to see you. I think all of these things are because 1) we aren't very close, and 2) neither one of us makes much effort to do something about it anymore. Despite the many things that were said during that phone call, I'm assuming that the real point was that you do want a relationship between us. If that really is what you want, we both need to work on it. It's a two way street and we are going to have to meet in the middle. We can blame each other till the end of time about who did or didn't do what, but if we want to know each other, that isn't going to solve anything.
Some of the things you said you wanted me to do were, call you more often, try harder to see you when I visit Nor Cal, and let you know sooner when I'm coming up. I can do that, and I really do want to try. But, like I said, I need you to try too. If you really want to talk more, you can call me sometimes too. And if you really want to meet up with me when I'm in town, I hope you are willing to help me out. Most of the time, I don't have a car, so it's hard for me to go all the way to your place. Even if I do have a car, I've already driven 8 hours to get there, so I would appreciate if you would at least meet me halfway. I don't want to burdan my brothers everytime to drive me out anymore. Mike has two little babies and NIck is coming from far too.
If you are wondering why I chose to write this now, it's because of a lot of reasons. I'm graduating, and I didn't want you to thik that when I send you the announcement, I'm asking you for anything. But, it's times like this that I don't want you to miss. If you want to be my dad and I want to be your daughter, part of that is being there for the important times. I'm not expecting you to make the trip down here or anything, but I did want you to know. I want you to be there in the future when I get married, or have kids, or have other important times, and I want to be there for yours too.
You said to me that you are stubborn, well I am too, and I probably got that from you. But, if you want a relationship, don't you think being stubborn and not talking to each other is a silly way to go about that? We can keep doing this, but I'm trying to say that if you want to meet me halfway, I will meet you.
~Keiko"
I really cut it down from the original 15 page letter where I pointed out his failure as a father. I'm not expecting anything, but at least now I've done my part. Now to graduation!
~Keiko
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