I can't believe the second week of school has already finished. My last semester is really going to fly by. So far my professors are pretty kick ass, and I have a schedule (for the first time in years) that actually allows me to sleep periodically. It's weird though, I've been feeling kind of down lately. Mostly because of friends...or a lack of feeling many real connections. I guess I just have felt left out, which makes me feel lonely, which tends to make me feel down about other things in life.
Part of it is because I'm so busy all the time that it's hard to find time to do anything with people other than my boyfriend. Part of it is because even if I did have the time, I'm not sure who I would hang out with anyways. I have lots and lots of friends, but no one other than my roommate, who I'm really tight with. My birthday's in a couple months, but I just haven't had much urge to try and plan anything the last couple of years because I get my hopes up and not many people come through. I mean, I appreciate the friends who do come through very much, but still...I know part of that's my fault because a lot of the time when people make plans, I'm not available because I have to work or something. But sometimes I wonder, if I just quit everything and started doing something new, with new people, and completely disconnected myself from everything I know, would it be different? It certainly doesn't help knowing that there are people who really don't like me for the dumbest reasons. I know I shouldn't care, that those people honestly are kind of idiots, but it gets to you after a while. Especially when they all kind of gang up against you and become friends. I don't know. I'm just so over all the games and politics and favoritism that comes along with dancing. And when all my friends are dancers, it's next to impossible to escape those things. I sound like such a debbie downer right now. Enough of this.
I need a change though. I'm ready for life to start taking off.
~Keiko
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
New Years Goals and Objectives
I realized that the older I get, the more obsessive about organization and lists I become too. I just feel like, with so much going on in life, it's becoming next to impossible for me to remember all of the 2.5 billion things I need to do. If someone were to take a look at my bedroom they'd never guess that I'm becoming an organization maniac, but that's just because I don't have enough time to color code my socks and organize my books by Dewey Decimal code. Really, I'm not that crazy yet, but give me another 15 years and I might be.
Anyways, I made a bunch of New Years resolutions just before January 1st, but seeing as I didn't write them down anywhere, I just kept making a new resolution for every part of my daily routine that I want to change. Do resolutions work? I don't really think so. They put you in a good frame of mind and make you feel somewhatly obligated to keep them, but unless someone is behind you beating you with a stick every time you mess up, chances are you won't stick it out. That's why I rely on insurmountable guilt to help me along. If I make a list, and I fail to complete the list, I generally feel some sense of self loathing until I rectify the situation. I said I was a little crazy right? So here is goes:
Anyways, I made a bunch of New Years resolutions just before January 1st, but seeing as I didn't write them down anywhere, I just kept making a new resolution for every part of my daily routine that I want to change. Do resolutions work? I don't really think so. They put you in a good frame of mind and make you feel somewhatly obligated to keep them, but unless someone is behind you beating you with a stick every time you mess up, chances are you won't stick it out. That's why I rely on insurmountable guilt to help me along. If I make a list, and I fail to complete the list, I generally feel some sense of self loathing until I rectify the situation. I said I was a little crazy right? So here is goes:
- Go running at least 3 times a week.
- Develop my business into an actual legitimate resume building business.
- Publish and begin selling my designs by July 2011.
- Audition (and make it) into an Agency.
- Begin doing temp work in HR.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Vacation's Beautiful!
I can't believe Christmas is almost here! And I have totally failed at keeping my blog up to date. I've been crocheting so much that I'm doing it in my sleep. LITERALLY! Sometimes I feel my eyes close and I wake up and I'm still going! It's insanity. But that also means that business is going good and I have lots of orders to fulfill. I never thought things would be going this a year ago when I tentatively decided to try and sell hats. The funniest thing is how popular they've become! I guess I really got the jump on this, but all the other ones I've seen elsewhere look like someone took a stuffed animal, cut it in half, and stuffed it on someone's head. Lets compare below...way below since I can't get it to let me write underneath the slideshow.
I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom which has been great. It's funny how much more important it is for me to spend time with my family now that I hardly ever get to see them. I wonder if I'll still live in So Cal when I do decide to have kids. But NO KIDS FOR ME anytime soon.I'm just fine with only being an Aunt.
I'm pretty excited because I just realized I have health care for another 3 years after I turn 23. What that means for me is I'm going to have a chance to follow my dreams and actually try to dance. I had nearly given up on the idea of joining an agency or trying to be a back up dancer or anything like that. But I feel like, when you ask the universe for something and you really mean it, the world works out in your favor. I'm going to keep this dream alive for a little longer. ^_^
I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom which has been great. It's funny how much more important it is for me to spend time with my family now that I hardly ever get to see them. I wonder if I'll still live in So Cal when I do decide to have kids. But NO KIDS FOR ME anytime soon.I'm just fine with only being an Aunt.
I'm pretty excited because I just realized I have health care for another 3 years after I turn 23. What that means for me is I'm going to have a chance to follow my dreams and actually try to dance. I had nearly given up on the idea of joining an agency or trying to be a back up dancer or anything like that. But I feel like, when you ask the universe for something and you really mean it, the world works out in your favor. I'm going to keep this dream alive for a little longer. ^_^
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Listening
Yesterday, after walking out of a class I nearly knocked out in, I ran into a friend who looked about 2 seconds from jumping off a bridge. I sat down with him and asked if he was okay and ended up talking to him for a while just about the difficulties of being a dancer. His issues were more specific, but as a friend, it's not my place to disclose them all over the internet. The point is, being a dancer is a lot harder than most people think. Yes, you love what you do, and it's less like a job and more like fun. But in the end, you face constant rejection, never-ending self efficacy, and next to no social life outside of your passion. You lose a hell of a lot of friends because of your inability to participate in the real world, and keeping up a relationship is some kind of miracle. So is it worth it? For me, yes. If I couldn't dance every day, I'd probably be the one sitting on the bench looking like I was going to hang myself.
The hardest part is when you hit a slump. You feel like you're never getting better, and everyone around you is racing to their dreams, and here you are, unable to even get to step 2, let alone pursue any long term goals. For choreo dancers, I think it's even rougher. If you don't make the team you want to be on, you're temporarily family-less. Your team or company is like a huge group of brothers and sisters who understand you better than anyone, forgive the faults you share, and push you to become better. Without that, it feels like an endless monotony of classes that don't have any discernible purpose. This is one of many reasons I'm thankful to be a freestyler too.
When I hit a slump, my solution is to try working on things unrelated to what is currently frustrating me. If I hit a slump in Bgirling, I may focus on my Waacking for a while. If I hit a slump in choreography, I might push myself to do a style I'm not as comfortable in. I'm fortunate enough to have the ability to work through the challenges by doing other styles. I say fortunate, but really, I worked hard for that ability. I see the value in versatility, and yes...I may not get as good at any one thing as someone who focuses soley on one style, but I also never feel completely backed into a corner. The best advice anyone ever gave me is to "just listen to the music." The music tells you what it wants you to do and your body just interprets it. You can't dance for the people around you, or to prove something, or to win. If you just listen to the music, and dance for yourself, you will naturally achieve all those other goals. I hope I can keep learning to listen. I hope he can too.
~Keiko
The hardest part is when you hit a slump. You feel like you're never getting better, and everyone around you is racing to their dreams, and here you are, unable to even get to step 2, let alone pursue any long term goals. For choreo dancers, I think it's even rougher. If you don't make the team you want to be on, you're temporarily family-less. Your team or company is like a huge group of brothers and sisters who understand you better than anyone, forgive the faults you share, and push you to become better. Without that, it feels like an endless monotony of classes that don't have any discernible purpose. This is one of many reasons I'm thankful to be a freestyler too.
When I hit a slump, my solution is to try working on things unrelated to what is currently frustrating me. If I hit a slump in Bgirling, I may focus on my Waacking for a while. If I hit a slump in choreography, I might push myself to do a style I'm not as comfortable in. I'm fortunate enough to have the ability to work through the challenges by doing other styles. I say fortunate, but really, I worked hard for that ability. I see the value in versatility, and yes...I may not get as good at any one thing as someone who focuses soley on one style, but I also never feel completely backed into a corner. The best advice anyone ever gave me is to "just listen to the music." The music tells you what it wants you to do and your body just interprets it. You can't dance for the people around you, or to prove something, or to win. If you just listen to the music, and dance for yourself, you will naturally achieve all those other goals. I hope I can keep learning to listen. I hope he can too.
~Keiko
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Coffee Keeps Us Sane
So this morning on the Ryan Seacrest show (the only reason I listen to radio music), he began ranting about how his coffee tasted like crap today. People started calling in saying he was over reacting, that it was just coffee, that he shouldn't let it ruin his day. A few people spoke up in defense of coffee addicts and I agree completely with them.
I get up around the crack of dawn every morning, and if I don't have coffee or tea will seriously be cranky the rest of the day. I don't think it's even the caffeine in it! It's like most addicts where it's more about the action than the substance. You could probably give me a hot cup of orange juice and it wouldn't make a difference to me as long as I could peacefully sip it. Given...I don't think it would taste nearly as glorious as coffee. So for the poor sad souls who are forced up at 4 AM every day, I feel for them. I can only imagine what it must be like to have a terrible cup of hot flavored water given to me as a substitute for the good stuff. I would probably be threatening to fire my staff too...(if I had any staff). I would at least be very rude to the patrons walking in to work, or asleep on the floor hoping when I woke up it would be the next day and I could try for a decent cup of coffee all over again. Let us compare good coffees:
This coffee fully expresses my feelings towards it each morning. How can anyone say this doesn't look amazing????
Now this on the other hand looks like horse saliva. I don't think I need to say any more.
Fact is, like addicts of all kinds, coffee makes me happy. Coffee doesn't hurt you if not taken in excess, and it makes me much more alert and willing to do work. Dissing coffee is like a personal stab at my soul. So lets just all rejoice at this marvelous creation. ^_^
~Keiko
I get up around the crack of dawn every morning, and if I don't have coffee or tea will seriously be cranky the rest of the day. I don't think it's even the caffeine in it! It's like most addicts where it's more about the action than the substance. You could probably give me a hot cup of orange juice and it wouldn't make a difference to me as long as I could peacefully sip it. Given...I don't think it would taste nearly as glorious as coffee. So for the poor sad souls who are forced up at 4 AM every day, I feel for them. I can only imagine what it must be like to have a terrible cup of hot flavored water given to me as a substitute for the good stuff. I would probably be threatening to fire my staff too...(if I had any staff). I would at least be very rude to the patrons walking in to work, or asleep on the floor hoping when I woke up it would be the next day and I could try for a decent cup of coffee all over again. Let us compare good coffees:
Fact is, like addicts of all kinds, coffee makes me happy. Coffee doesn't hurt you if not taken in excess, and it makes me much more alert and willing to do work. Dissing coffee is like a personal stab at my soul. So lets just all rejoice at this marvelous creation. ^_^
~Keiko
Monday, October 4, 2010
Bboy Summit, Roscoe's, and Group Projects
So I got to go to the infamous Bboy Summit on Saturday. I heard the cyphers on Friday were totally raw, and I heard the battles on Sunday were...alright. Saturday was fun I suppose. I'm kind of surprised to be honest at the way it was organized. They kept breaking up the cyphers that were going to have 15 minute workshops in various styles. I mean, having workshops is dope, but when you get a good cypher going, breaking it up kind of kills the vibe. Got a lot of dope t-shirts though!
We went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles afterwards. Apparently it's some kind of sacrilege that I've lived in Long Beach for four years and I've never gone to this restaurant. We went to the one in LA, and it was pretty damn good. But seriously, how can you really go wrong with roughly 3 million calories drenched in syrup on a plate? I never thought fried chicken and syrup would taste good together, but I have since been corrected. Would I eat there every day? Hell no. Only if I want to become a hippo. But it was quite tasty.
Now I face the joy of a group project. I hate group projects as it is. I mean...I can usually do this stuff much better by myself and I usually get screwed over in one way or another with group projects. Looks like I shouldn't try getting a job at a team-based company like Google. On this particular project, our professor has done next to nothing to explain it, given us the most minimal of directions, and put us in to groups too big to be feasible for something like this. On top of all that, he refuses to let us use conventional methods of communication. Which means, Google Docs. Not a bad application or anything, but seriously a pain in the neck if you don't want to use a google email address. So when I'm the one who has to put this whole dealio together and I can't even get into the damn group, it gets a tad frustrating. F*** group projects.
~Keiko
We went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles afterwards. Apparently it's some kind of sacrilege that I've lived in Long Beach for four years and I've never gone to this restaurant. We went to the one in LA, and it was pretty damn good. But seriously, how can you really go wrong with roughly 3 million calories drenched in syrup on a plate? I never thought fried chicken and syrup would taste good together, but I have since been corrected. Would I eat there every day? Hell no. Only if I want to become a hippo. But it was quite tasty.
Now I face the joy of a group project. I hate group projects as it is. I mean...I can usually do this stuff much better by myself and I usually get screwed over in one way or another with group projects. Looks like I shouldn't try getting a job at a team-based company like Google. On this particular project, our professor has done next to nothing to explain it, given us the most minimal of directions, and put us in to groups too big to be feasible for something like this. On top of all that, he refuses to let us use conventional methods of communication. Which means, Google Docs. Not a bad application or anything, but seriously a pain in the neck if you don't want to use a google email address. So when I'm the one who has to put this whole dealio together and I can't even get into the damn group, it gets a tad frustrating. F*** group projects.
~Keiko
Friday, October 1, 2010
Christmas is Coming!
Well, only for those of us who have to plan our businesses accordingly. I just know what's going to happen already. I'm going to get about 20 people asking for orders about a month before Christmas. I know it's hard to figure out what the hell to get people for Christmas, but this is one time when I wish everyone would just plan ahead for my sanity at least. haha. I sure as hell am NOT pulling any all nighters for an extra $25.
Basically, I'm trying to start my own business. I'm not positive how serious I want to get about it because it is a lot of work, but I love doing it anyways. Plus, it's a great thing to have on my resume. I've been going by K.O. Designs since last February, but I recently decided to do a name change once I officially get things going. One reason is because there are several Graphic Design companies and one other person who does what I do with the same name. The other reason is...my new name is so much cuter...*hint.* ^_^ I shall not disclose what it is because I don't want someone to steal it, but it's going to be awesome! Here are some pictures of what I do! >_<
~Keiko
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